Meanwhile, in the Grammar Crisis room....

Saturday, October 21, 2006

Long-awaited sequel to "Oh God, it's another video game post!"

More than a week ago, I promised to finish a feature comparing sports fandoms to videogame fandoms (yes, possibly the nerdiest premise ever). This took me so damn long because I couldn't think of a fanbase to compare Nintendo fans to.
I'm just going to go with my first instinct here and say Nintendo fans are Cubs fans. Both are past-obsessed (NES; Wrigley Field). Both always seem poised for success before the season (console generation), but find some way to muck it up (though Nintendo's been bucking that trend recently). But despite their losses, both are totally ingrained in the hearts of their fans. These fans are obsessive, as opposed to some Yankee fans (keeping with the metaphor, Playstation fans) who merely like the team because of its recent prominence.
Now, as to why those people who buy all consoles are pantywaists: imagine console gaming as betting. The goal is to find the contestant with the best chance of winning (providing fun games). A person who successfully chooses a winner receives the most for the least cost, and enjoys the added bonus of feeling prescient. People who bet on all sides also receive the maximum benefit, but expend the most. They have announced their failure to pick the winner and, indeed, a failure to even attempt to do so.
In short, people who buy all the consoles deserve to be treated with the same disdain as those who bet on both sides of a prizefight.


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